I have made some amazing friends here and know I'll be leaving part of myself here when I leave. I have gotten so attached here, way more than I expected to. But, I am so thankful for facebook and skype - knowing that we can keep in touch. I already have plans to come back next year... thousands of reasons of course... and I know i'll learn a lot in the waiting time before my plane lands here again. I've had so many great opportunities and experiences, and while I know that I will never forget them.. its also just not the same at home.
While people at home may sit and listen to my stories, most won't truly understand, and how could they? When I get home I'm not sure what I'll need more - personal quiet time to unload and debrief myself, or lots of people and social interaction to help distract me. Returning home will be emotionally and physically difficult, but hopefully I stay strong enough to not let that wear me down spiritually. I am so focused right now and know that I can do this with God's strength. It is an awesome feeling - full of peace, strength, joy, and assurance. My devotional time is going great - I have lots of free time, haha :) - and I'm learning a bunch. I just need good accountability to keep me focused and on-track. I know the devil is going to fight hard! But, guess what - he won't win! Last year when I returned from the Philippines I felt so spiritually strong as well, then I was a counselor at the youth and kids camps, and continued to grow. Then around July/August I hit a dry spot that lasted way too long. My free time this summer could either be a really great thing or a bad thing... My goal is to read at least one book per week!
So that's part of the reason I'm not looking forward to being home... But what am I looking forward to about being home?..
Its not the physical comforts of home I miss the most... but I am looking forward to my own bed and shower. I miss certain foods - cold milk and Frosted Flakes or Honey Nut Cheerios, cookies, and popsicles. I miss the people the most - my family and friends. I want to cuddle and tickle my niece Leah; and hold, rock and feed Mallory. I miss sitting down and just chatting, having deep conversations, and laughing b/c i actually got the joke (haha). I want to be with my family and tell them my stories, and to know what has happened in their lives while i've been away. I miss my church family tons - I want to hear Pastor Bob preach, worship in Horizon , hear Ruth Landis play the piano, and Andrea/Michele/Suzanne do special music. I want to walk around and give hugs to all my prayer & financial supporters at church; I want to share with them all the blessings & lessons i've received on this trip. I want to stay up late drinking starbucks and scrapbook with the ladies. I want to play games - Carcassone or Settlers of Catan (not Uno, haha). I wanna go out with Jade and talk about baby Samuel. I'm ready for camping season - the revival speakers and working with the cute kids. Staying up super late and causing mischief. I'm ready to sleep the day away and not worry about a schedule. I'm ready to wake up and just relax, to read a good book, to sit in the sun by the pool, and to be in the pool. I'm excited to go on long walks or bike rides, and to go back to the gym. I'm ready to be in the driver's seat again... i'm a restless car passenger I think (need control? haha). I'm ready to wear something other than basketball shorts, t-shits, and flip-flops. I want to straighten my hair and condition it multiple times, haha. I'm ready for English all the time, that's been emotionally draining sometimes... I think (hope) i've been patient with it though. I'm excited to keep learning Tagalog too!
Anyways, maybe this will be my last post before arrival in the States... maybe not. I think I have a full schedule ahead. Lots of people to wish me farewell and send me on my way. I just wonder if there will be more people taking me to the airport or picking me up from the airport, haha.
No comments:
Post a Comment