Perfect Timing

Yesterday morning I went with MJ, Joel and his family to a pastors convention. I got to see lots of friends, which was nice. There were 3 seminars and we stayed for the first 2. The first was on "bringing order to the church". Most of it was in Tagalog but thankfully the power-point was English, so I could still learn some :) Afterwards we broke up into groups and I went with the young pastoras and we talked about what we learned. The biggest points were on partnering in team work, continuous learning, having accountability, practicing the sabbath, being bold & vocal, be relational - build friendships, and being open with the senior pastor. In the past couple of years my pull towards ministry has grown, which is why I added a focus on urban ministries with social work. Anyways, it was just a really good time of fellowship with other ladies who are facing the same kind of things as me, except they're already in the field i'm just preparing for. I struggle a lot with the language barrier, it gets lonely sometimes, and its hard to talk things through with people.

Then this morning I woke up feeling rather empty, which is ironic since Saturday was such a refreshing day. For whatever reason the devil just attacked my spirit hard and I felt inadequate and dry. I've been spending so much time in the Word, prayer, and devotions but my time Saturday was cut short. I prayed then read for awhile and still felt so distant, I couldn't get focused. I grabbed some breakfast and came back to my bed - still crying out for God. I had 1.5 hours before Sunday school - i was not going to give up! I got a really encouraging text from Joel and one from Andrea at home. I prayed again and played some worship music. During "Desert Song" I broke with tears. God reminded me of the promises I needed to hear. Then "Desire" by Phil Wickham. Those 2 songs refreshed my spirit enough to give me focus. I sat in silence (the Lord even quieted the dog - hallelujah!) and solitude for 45 minutes. I felt absolutely amazing afterwards. I learned that sometimes I just need to slow down. I can't ever do anything to be adequate, though I want much more than adequacy. Reading the Bible isn't always an "automatic fix" either (though it can provide the perfect answers. For me, silence & solitude forces me to rely on His strength instead of my own (because in my own strength I get way too bored!). It was the quality time I needed with my King. I went into the worship service ready to sing my heart out and again the Lord met me.

GREATER IS HE WHO IS IN ME,

THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD