Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Grad School Applications

Goal number one for break before the New Year arrives?
Apply to two grad schools - IUPUI and Robert's Wesleyan

The first week of break I got two emails from grad schools
The first came from Asbury University:



The second from Dominican University:


And I said "HA! You've gotta be kidding me? The first week of break and they're at it already!?!?" It made it much worse that those emails came from schools I'm not even applying to! Then I promised myself I'd work on the applications the next week... this week... So after writing a little here and there I was almost finished with the first one. I got online to finish it (Robert's Wesleyan) this evening and got this message on their website.

Isn't that just perfect!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Break

Christmas break finally arrived.

It started with a social work Christmas party
I love these people <3>

My friend Bonaventure Dusabimana graduated.
Jewel and I met his family at Bob Evan's to celebrate.

Family Christmas with the Ache's (mom's side)
Grandma, mom & I partnered to make the meal.

And Jewel's Christmas with Jeff & Joni, Leah & Mallory
Dad always gets us a matching gift.
These pajama pants sure beat the BRIGHT yellow fleeces we got one year!

I won the "World's Largest Stocking" in a drawing.
It was full of 10 year old boy toys, so I donated it to the Salvation Army.

Snow, snow & more snow

Jewel left for Cambodia on Tuesday afternoon.
After 36 hours of travel she'll arrive Thursday (1:30am our time).
Please pray for her as she's on her way now.

Lots of quality skype time with my sweet Wayne

Up & Coming:
Christmas Eve with Jeff, Joni, Leah & Mallory, then off to the "Reed Gathering"
Christmas day with Dad, Mom & Grandma
Speaking at youth group next Wednesday
Spending time in Indy with Joni & the girls
And... and... that's all the plans for now :)

I'm writing this blog as a break from writing research papers and autobiographical statements, and gathering reference letters and transcripts to apply for grad schools. My goal over break is to apply to two grad schools - Roberts Wesleyan College (Rochester, NY) and IUPUI (Indianapolis). RWC is my first choice and IUPUI is my back-up plan. Really, it is no fun, blah.
Oh, and early Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 10, 2010

One Busy Martha

A few days ago I read the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10. It still resonates in my as I'm trying to figure out how to live out the application.

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).

Mary and Martha are sisters with two very different personalities. Jewel and I are sisters with two very different personalities. I can definitely relate to Martha more than Mary. I wish this wasn't so, I wish I was more like Mary. In an essay I read (http://www.religioustolerance.org/kumasi01.htm) it calls this the the "Martha Syndrome and Mary solution". Martha is the one that's distracted; worried about getting her tasks done in a timely manner, always making preparations and thinking about the future. She's probably also a "people-pleaser" trying so hard that she puts her own needs aside. She can't sit down to enjoy whatever is going on. Mary is content, settling in to enjoy the fellowship. People are more important than time and tasks. She would rather hear from the Lord than accomplish her own tasks. And I'm more like Martha??? Yikes.

How can I get past the busyness of this time of the year to make sure I'm focusing on what's most important? Studying & finals, friends graduating, "moving" home, Christmas parties & preparations, shopping, grad school applications, and beginning an intense full-time internship.. it seems like the tasks, requirements, and activities never end. I don't think that just because my personality ('Type-A', shocker I know, haha) is bent towards Martha is an excuse. How do I stop being caught up in accomplishing my tasks when my tasks in-and-of themselves aren't bad? I'd like to say I have the right priorities, just not enough hours in the day, however that's a lame excuse. I need to cut something out, but what? I don't want this to be just something to help me through finals, but more of a lifestyle change. How do I slow down?

Friday, December 3, 2010

The Scream

"The Scream"
That's about all I have to say about that...

Finals are in 10 days and in 13 days I will be done.
Grad school applications should be completed & mailed out in 6 weeks.
I probably don't have enough meal swipes left for the rest of the semester.
Tuesday I have to pay $65 for fingerprinting and a background check, with no paycheck.

I'm not complaining, at least I don't mean to be. I'll make it. God will give me strength, focus, motivation & resources. I believe it. My faith is being stretched.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Jonah

I'm almost through reading the books of the Prophets and I've been struggling. But when I read the book of Jonah the Lord struck me. It's not necessarily a new revelation, but I was listening and prepared to hear what He had for me in that book. The last 2 verses of the book say
"But the Lord said, 'You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?'"
I had to ask myself... What are my priorities? Do I take situations into my own hands? Do I have concern for the lives of those lost in sin?

Today was praise & worship chapel. I stayed for both services to worship my King. The music was great but what's even better is that the spirit was so alive in my heart. One of the last songs was Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace
This is exactly what I needed to hear.

Thank you Lord for drawing near your servant in her time of need.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Our God is Greater

I just wrote a note about the past couple days
And it was all complaining
So i deleted it
And thought this would be better...

Lord help me to have your perspective
You are greater than anything I face
You are awesome in power
When you're on my side nothing can stand against me
I trust You, I rely on You
I know you will provide and sustain

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church

In Chapel on Monday Jim "V" Vermilya talked about the international day of prayer for the persecuted Church, which is on Sunday, November 14. This is an issue that is near to my heart but very distant from my present reality. I've seen persecution first hand while on mission trips. The very first time was also my first time out of country. I was in Ensenada, Mexico working with a Pastor named Mario. He lived in a predominantly Jehovah Witness community. His neighbors did not like the presence (or power!) of the church so they dug a small trench and run their sewage directly in front of the church. Every time someone goes to church they have to pass over this. It stinks, real bad. However, this is still not the life-or-death persecution many other Christian believers face. Below is a map of restricted nations, areas where Christians are intensely persecuted for their faith.

So I think to myself What does this mean for me? I'm separated from this... chances of someone threatening my life because of my beliefs is slim to none. In all reality I'm not even faced with ridicule or rejection because of my beliefs. You could say this means I'm not doing enough, that I'm not friends with enough "non Christians." If I'm not being persecuted, why? God said we would be. But I don't look at it that way, I think I face a different kind of persecution, a more subtle form. Maybe my persecution comes in the form of people not wanting me to pursue my dreams and visions. They doubt what I can do and they doubt God's calling to do that. They fear for me more than I fear for myself.
Philippians 1:29
Philippians 12:1-13
Matthew 5:33, 34
Romans 12: 9, 14
John 15:18-20
I've really developed in boldness and steadfastness in proclaiming the gospel. I'm not perfect and I don't know what I'd do if i was ever placed in a situation where my life was at risk... but I hope I would remain as faithful to Him as He is to me!



While thinking about all of this I've really been thinking about my role in Kingdom work. Lately I have totally been dissatisfied with what I'm doing. I know that I'm growing closer to my Lord and deeper in my relationship of Love with Him. But, what about my impact on others? Am I taking advantage of every opportunity I'm given? Am I spending my time in full service for Him? I think the heart of the issue is that I'm tired of school. Yes it is a haven of spiritual growth and opportunity, but I also think that it is limiting me. I would rather be in the "real world" than in classroom settings. I would rather be practicing social justice than learning about shades, tints & tones in Fine Arts class....
Senioritis? I think so! I need to be patient. I need to take advantage of the opportunities I have. I need to stretch myself to grow as much as I can. If I can't do it here then how can I do it out there?!?! This is part of the path of God's plan for my life, and I've decided to try to make the most of it.
I'm spending my time for Him instead of myself. An awesome opportunity that began this week is that I'm leading a Bible study for the girls in my youth group. The Lord really spoke to me during my preparations, and I'm sure I got just as much out of it as the girls. Just because I'm "leading it" doesn't mean that i know everything. I'm really excited to see where this journey goes!

Monday, November 1, 2010

God is an Artist

I wrote this little devotional as a homework assignment for my Fine Arts class. I actually took the assignment lightly when I wrote this. Later, when I went back to edit it I added some more stuff and was then struck with the realization of what it means in my own life. I was impacted so heavily by my own writing. Maybe this isn't good, maybe it doesn't affect you at all, but it does me so I thought I'd share it...


Isaiah 42:5-7, This is what God the LORD says— he who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: "I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.

Once upon a time, there was an artist who created a magnificent painting. It was a colorful sunrise peaking above the mountaintops. There were bright shades of yellow, red, pink, and orange which contrasted the dark blue and grey hues of the mountains. The paint was slathered on so thick that the piece popped with texture. He put so much time and effort into his task, carefully perfecting every line, color, and texture of the panting until he was completely satisfied. When the painting was dry he framed it in a golden oak frame and hung it on his bedroom wall. It was a remarkably alluring piece; he smiled whenever he saw it. Everyone knew that he was a wonderful artist, but he never showed this piece to anyone else. It was purely for his own enjoyment.

There was another artist who also created a beautiful masterpiece. His was painting of a beach scene with palm trees bending in the wind during a power storm. There was rhythm in the spacing of palm trees and the focal point was on a massive grey wave about to crash on shore. The artist put the same amount of effort into his task, intimately working with the design elements. He did not stop working until he felt fully satisfied. This artist framed his work in a beautiful gold setting. The end result was stunning. This second artist donated his masterpiece to the community rehabilitation center, where many people would enjoy seeing it. The painting made a lasting impact on the clients of the center who resonated with the theme of the painting as they endured their own life storms.

Which of these paintings do you think was probably more appreciated? You are correct if you said it was the second painting of the beach scene. Though both were equally impressive, the second artist used his painting to impact the lives of other people – he made it with a purpose to be served. The awe-inspiring thing is that God is like the second artist. When He creates artwork He does so with a purpose. As His creation, we were not aimlessly thrown together and we were not made for His enjoyment only. In the moment our nostrils were filled with breath, God had a plan for each of us. He called us to be righteous, promising to lead us, as we are a light to the lost. Our beauty as His masterpiece is meant to open the eyes of the blind to the splendor of His work. We can make the same life-giving impact on others, just like painting of the stormy beach hung in the rehabilitation center. I challenge you to refuse to be like the painting on the bedroom wall. Be the masterpiece of light that God created you to be. He made us beautiful to bring glory to Him.

Matthew 5:14- 16 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Incase you didn't know, which i'm sure you didn't, this is one of my favorite paintings ever. "Starry Night" by Vincent Van Gogh. I did a glass painting of it in high school.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's Not About Me

I've been reading "When God Whispers Your Name" by Max Lucado. It's an awesome book. The chapters are short and manageable - perfect to pull out for a little break between the stressors of my day. I started it at the beginning of the semester and I'm slowly working my way through it because its so good, I want to soak it all in. There are many chapters that i've read multiple times because I don't want to miss anything.

Anyways, my favorite chapter thus far is "The Choice." In essence it has changed me dramatically. My routine is different, my reactions and priorities are different, and its all because my mindset is different...
The chapter shows that in the midst of all the junk we face in life we have choices - choices of how to respond. The push is to respond in alignment with the Fruits of the Spirit, which are of the God which we are to imitate! Imitate means to use somebody or something as a model, attempting to copy an existing method, style, or approach - basically, to be or look like something else. The way we do that is by bearing what he bears - His fruit. What we produce is the basis of other's opinions of us, so if we produce what Christ produces then they should recognize that we are like Christ.

Galatians 5: 22, 23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

  • I choose to love when I'm not loved in return. I choose to love when my natural reaction is judgement. I choose to love when it takes all of my energy. I choose to love what is different and uncomfortable. I choose to love in whatever form the other needs.
  • I choose joy when it is easier to complain. I choose joy when it seems all life is against me. I chose joy when my spirit is hardened. I choose joy when resentment feels better. I choose living in Christ's joy instead of the world's happiness.
  • I choose peace when all else is in conflict. I choose peace when retaliation is more fun. I choose peace in knowing I am forgiven, and in forgiving others. I choose peace when it means in making amends I must admit fault even when it isn't min.
  • I choose patience when it doesn't accomplish anything. I choose patience when my tasks are long and the time is short. I choose patience when someone is really testing me. I choose patience when it puts my selfish priorities aside.
  • I choose kindness when I haven't been shown kindness. I choose kindness when I don't feel sympathetic. I chose kindness when others are different than me. I choose to show kindness in words and actions.
  • I choose goodness when dishonesty would be easier. I choose goodness when it means I have to sacrifice. I choose goodness even when I won't get recognition for it. I choose goodness even when nobody would catch me in my sin.
  • I choose faithfulness when I want to go back on my word. I choose faithfulness when another option is better. I choose faithfulness when I don't feel committed anymore. I choose faithfulness when that which I am being faithful to is not faithful to me.
  • I choose gentleness when harsh-words are natural. I choose gentleness when I can only get what I want by force.  I choose to only raise my voice in praise and clench my fists in praise. I choose to only be rough with myself when making demands.
  • I choose self-control when my natural instinct is to react in anger. I choose self-control when it means getting ready of something when I can't control it. I choose self-control when my desires are strong. I choose self-control when I'd rather out act.
I just finished Eccesiates (1:1-11 is my favorite!) this morning. It's the "everything is meaningless" book. If you don't read it with the right understanding you'll likely get confused. The writer is not pessimistic, he is only emphasizing how a life not centered on God and holiness is meaningless. Without Christ, nothing can satisfy (wisdom, pleasures, work, etc - it's all meaningless and has no true reward). With Christ as the reason for life, we can gratefully receive the good gifts He gives and enjoy life. 

So, how am I making sure my life is not meaningless? .... Imitating Christ by sowing His fruits in my life. I'm using this for Kingdom-work instead of Jessie-work. Cause a life all about me is meaningless.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Modern Day Miracle

Last Friday God used me in a crazy way. I didn't know what was happening at the time, but eventually I caught on and I was amazed at how He orchestrated the situation. It was simple to me really, but to the girl God was having me reach out to it was huge. So, here's the story, I'll do my best to show the awesomeness of God's plan. This is probably going to be long but personally I think it's worth reading :)

Friday was homecoming which meant there was one massively huge chapel instead of two. As a chapel scanner I normally arrive at chapel around 9:45 but this day I didn't need to be there till 10:25 to be ready for the 11:00 chapel. I woke up early to talk to some friends in the Philippines, had a great time, then had plenty of time to finish getting ready for my day. "Mistakenly" I started getting ready at 9:00 (planning on being there at 9:25) instead of 10:00. So I arrived at the chapel building, confused as to why it was so empty - the computers to scan weren't even set up. It was just the chorale members who were arriving early to practice. At this point I still hadn't realized my "mistake" of arriving 1 hour early. So, I sat down to wait for other scanners and read a magazine.

The student secretary came up and asked me if I was just here early for scanning. I just assumed she didn't know I had to be there at 10:25 and really everyone else was late. So I said yes, then she asked me a strange question. "There is a chorale girl who feels like she is going to have a seizure. Can you sit with her so the other chorale members can practice?" I said, "uhh, sure," thinking that I was crazy to do such a thing - I am possibly the least medical person you know. If this girl actually has a seizure I would not know what to do! I walked into the dark room where the girl was seated with two of her friends. They thanked me for coming and said "she feels like she's gonna have a seizure, thanks for sitting with her." Then left, I was like Gee, thanks. Now what do I do? If this girl really has a seizure, I don't have the slightest clue what to do. So, I just sat there and waited.

After awhile the silence grew awkward. I didn't know what the girl was feeling, aside from the supposed crumminess that an on-coming seizure makes you feel. So, I started to strike up a conversation, not knowing if she wanted silence or a distraction. She enthusiastically responded to most questions, so I thought the break in silence was okay. Quickly my heart went out to this girl - what kind of life it must be to be plagued with this illness and the constant fear of having a seizure at any moment. She took meds together that she shouldn't have and was assuming the blame herself for causing the pre-seizure symptoms. After the conversation died down (I mean really, what is there to talk about in a situation like that? The weather, the colts? I don't think so...) I continued to pray for her in my heart. I prayed for healing, peace, comfort, encouragement, and that the Lord's will would be seen and done in her and I. After about 15 minutes of prayer I would lose words, then there'd be awkward silence till I couldn't bare it any longer, we'd attempt a conversation, and then I'd start praying in my heart again.

So I get to looking at the clock and think chapel should start any minute... then it hits me... and I realize that it's only 9:45 at this time and I didn't have to be there till 10:25. Humbly I admit to you that I was frustrated that I arrived so early when in reality I could've returned to bed and got a nice long nap before coming. But, then my second thought was the reason for writing this story. I honestly believe God ordained me to arrive there 1 hour early just to sit with this girl. It was not a mistake to Him that I came early - it was part of His plan the whole time! I was humbled that He would use me in such a simple way. But I still had no clue what that meant - if this girl had a seizure I would be of no help at all. Either way, I accepted this as a responsibility and continued to fervently pray for her.

Then the girl told me she was really nauseous and then pulled a trash can close and was literally huddled around it. Maybe you knows this and maybe you don't - but I do not deal well with vomit; chances are high that if this girl lost it, then i would lose it too. Again, this girl had no idea who I was. She was weak and in a vulnerable state. I'm sure she would have preferred to be with her friends or family, not a stranger. I know that when I'm sick I want left alone. But, how could I leave her now? I could not do such a thing! She needed someone there with her, though I was not really qualified (medically), I was the only one there to do it, in fact I'm the one who was called to do it.

Eventually I felt the spirit's conviction to talk to this girl about how I thought the Lord led me there. But, I kept giving myself excuses why I shouldn't. When she was super nauseous, I told myself she just needed quiet so she could rest. When the chorale was loud with practicing, I told myself that I would have to speak too loud above them to be heard. I told myself that it is just a coincidence, I told myself that prayer will be enough, and I told myself that I'd look like an idiot sharing this with her. I didn't know anything about this girl's faith or conviction, whether she's in a deep relationship with the Lord, a shallow one, or none at all. I didn't feel like I was qualified to share with her (dumb feeling) like I wasn't qualified to take care of her medically. Eventually the conviction won out and I shared. I just worked up the nerve and once the first words came out I was fine.

"You know, I arrived really early by mistake today. But, I don't think it was a mistake. I think God sent me early so I could sit with you so that you don't have to be alone. It's a pretty simple task. While I hope and pray that you don't have a seizure and that you feel better soon, I know God is here and He's working with a purpose." She just smiled and looked down. Then I told her I'd been praying for her and will continue as long as I'm in the room and she's feeling ill. At that point she smiled even bigger, looked up at me, and said thanks.

I don't know what that meant to her. I don't know if it made a lasting impact or not. What I do know is that we serve a mighty King and I was obedient to His calling. Surely she was encouraged like I was to know of God's faithfulness in the midst of trouble and how He uses His servants in simple ways to reach out.

Less than 10 minutes later I asked her how she was feeling and she said she didn't think she was going to have a seizure anymore - the feeling completely passed. I had goosebumps when she told me. You know what I think? What I know? God healed her - He answered prayers and touched her body. I consider this a miracle. I can only think that if I would've verbalized my witness to her earlier that He would have healed her earlier. Nonetheless, God worked in His perfect timing and used me to be a part of this. I know I learned a lesson from this - to be obedient to His calling and vocalize my faith. I'm still praying for that girl (whose name I left out for privacy). Not necessarily that she's still seizure free, though that's important, but more importantly that her eyes are open to God's work in her life!

I think I'd willingly sacrifice a nap any other day for something like that to happen again!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Saving Grace

Last night in Horizon worship I was in awe of the saving grace of my God. He is so amazing. I was almost brought to tears thinking about His grace in my life and the lives of my loved ones.

The words from the song To Know Your Name by Hillsong hit me especially hard
Arrested by your truth and righteousness
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness
Convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
Your love will never fail
Your love will never fail

And He took my place, knowing He'd be crucified
You loved, You loved, for people undeserving

I was especially amazed as I thought about how He miraculously healed my grandma. It wasn't by her body's own strength or the doctor's wisdom - it was by the touch of the Master's hand! I claim Psalm 18 for her (which is David's Psalm of praise for when God saved him when he was wounded in battle against the Philistines). She should not have lived, but God still has chapters written for her life. He wants to show Himself to her in new ways...

vs. 26 & 27 - To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. (She is all of those except crooked.)

Then we sang Mighty to Save (we must really like Hillsong). Whenever I sing that I always think of a particular family member and how God is mighty to save him. He needs compassion love, forgiveness, kindness, and hope. Jesus IS mighty to save and I BELIEVE that He WILL move the mountains!

One last song - Our God by Christ Tomlin
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is healer, awesome in power
Our God, our God...

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?

I was trash before I found Jesus - literally, an absolute mess. You may not have known it then, because I hid it well. You may not know it now, because through His grace & mercy God put the pieces of my life back together.

Friday, September 24, 2010

From Haiti to Honduras to the Philippines

Before my birthday I sat down and replayed life in my head. I thought about all the people, places, events (good and bad), and opportunities God has blessed me with. Those things have all played a part in shaping the woman I am today; I've learned so much and have been stretched. In reflecting on the past 22 years, I am amazed and truly in awe of God's hand in my life. I can look back and see how He has orchestrated things perfectly, in a way that I could never see at the time. He shut doors of opportunities, sometimes infuriating me, though now I can see why and how it really was for my good. I'm going to talk about one of those now. I'll do a more general birthday post later.

In March 2009 my great friend Mackenzie and I began to talk and dream about leading a World Impact missions team to Haiti. She'd been there multiple times and felt God calling her there. I was enthusiastic and passionate about missions, pretty much willing to go anywhere if even only once. I'd been to the neighboring country of the Dominican Republic a few years before and was excited about the prospect of ministering on the other side of the island. So, together Mackenzie and I interviewed with Steve Pettis, Jeff Miller, and Julia Hurlow. A week after the interview World Impact said we weren't allowed to go to Haiti due to risk management issues, but that we were accepted as team leaders and could pick another destination for approval. I was confused and frankly angry. The door was shut.

Mackenzie and I were shocked and upset. We had prayed intently and dreamt big. We didn't have peace about their decision but there wasn't anything we could do. Mackenzie still felt called to Haiti so she decided to go anyways without the umbrella of the school, but I still wanted to be a team leader. So, we started praying for each other and our new direction. The school said there was a need in Honduras, a country I've already been to. I quickly became interested in this new prospect - I was familiar with the language, comfortable with the culture, and excited about returning to a country I've already been to and work with missionaries I knew (something that was on my bucket list). A new door was opened.

Then I got in contact with the World Gospel Missions organization and they informed me that the missionaries I wanted to work with (Travis & Lori Hawk) were no longer serving on the field. If I still decided to go there (Escuela El Sembrador) I would be working with new missionaries. I was so disappointed. I already knew that I wouldn't know any of the new students and now I learned that I wouldn't know anyone. It would be a totally new experience. I felt like they might as well send me to the jungles of Africa (which would have been cool too!). Again, I didn't have peace about this. I was so frustrated. Another closed door.

So fast-forward a few months to May when I went on a World Impact team with Steve Pettis, the director of World Impact, as team leader. We decided that after the trip we would get together and talk about another new destination for me to lead a team the following summer (this summer). My team went to the Philippines and worked with Jun Rafael and Joel Pascua - two amazing men of God. We did VBS's on various islands and I fell in love with the people and the culture. The team was the first team that Joel hosted and he didn't want it to be the last. He talked with Pettis about another team returning next summer, but Pettis said he couldn't promise anything. I overheard this conversation and my heart leaped, like I had a call that I should be the one to bring a team back. I pulled Pettis aside later and we talked about this. He was very supportive and suggested I talk with Joel about it. So, I did and Joel was so enthusiastic about it - we made plans for my return with a team. The door of opportunity opened!

So now as I think about that - the swell of emotions I experienced, especially the pain and frustration - I realize that it was for my good even though I didn't see it at the time. God's plan wasn't for me to go to Haiti or return to Honduras - His plan was for me to return to the Philippines! What if I would have gone to one of those places instead of the Philippines? I may not have had the team that I took this year, which means those relationships wouldn't exist. I would not have developed the deep friendship with Jun and Joel. I would not have gotten to see all those people again - the pastors and the kids. I would not have met MJ or May-Anne, Robin or Marc, Dennis or Grace, Francis or Leah, Michael or Joshua, Ronald or Romhar, Reyn or Elymar, or Mark and Daislyn. My only tour-guide would have been Algen (yikes), no Jerome. I wouldn't have eaten ice-cream with Richard again, I wouldn't get to play with Jed and Aiah. I wouldn't have visited all those new places. I wouldn't have ministered in Mindoro or at Onesimo. I wouldn't have killed any ipis (though I wouldn't consider that a regret). I wouldn't know the pleasure of jackfruit. I couldn't say I actually tried balut or dinuguan or bagoong. And, I wouldn't have met my Aldean Wayne! BUT God worked out His plans and I did all those things! He sent me 8,400 miles away to figure all this out - to find life and love and passion. I am so so so glad :)

This was not just an open door of opportunity, it was an open door to a new chapter of my life. I must remind myself of this lesson the next time He shuts a door in life. He knows what needs to happen to have a happy ending. He always does what is best for me. I hope He does whatever it takes, even when I'm obstinate and stubborn, or yell at Him for messing up my plans. I must remember that He wrote my life story.

Moments to cherish:




Monday, September 13, 2010

You Won't Relent

I'm so in love with my Maker, my King, my heavenly Father.
I fall deeper and deeper in love the more I get to know Him.
Life is going beautifully right now and all praise goes to Him!
I have joy, peace, comfort, and guidance - the kind that can only come from Him.
I'm learning and growing and becoming the woman He made me to be.
More and more, I feel His love and affections for me.
I feel so close to Him; I know He is part of every moment of my days.
He is calling me, preparing me, pushing me. I'm enjoying it, but it's not always easy.
He is asking for things I'm hesitant about giving away.
But I'm confident He cares for me, so it's okay, I'll trust Him.
I start my day reciting the fruit of the spirit, because I want to look more like Him.
I'm so excited for Summit (spiritual emphasis week in chapel) this week.
I can't wait to see what God has in store for me - lessons, blessings, plans, etc.
I love Him. I love Him so much.
I hope that others can see that in the way I live my life.
Nothing has been able to take my focus off of Him, and I pray that continues.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Home From the Philippines

I've had this letter written forever but haven't printed it out to send it like normal. That may happen eventually, but online it will get to more people :)

Family and Friends,
Wow, I just don’t know where to start. My visit and ministry in the Philippines leaves me feeling so blessed, called, convicted, and encouraged. I had more than the time of my life. I want to take this opportunity to again thank you, my faithful supporters, for your support, prayers, and encouragement for me while I go on this venture we call life. This trip to the Philippines was not an isolated event; it is just one step in the journey God has called me on. He worked in me and through me in miraculous ways, continuing to prepare me for what He has in store for me in the future. I hope that by my sharing with you what God did and is doing, you will in the same way be encouraged to take part in your own ministry and continue to support those who feel called to missions. I know that I am who I am today because of these opportunities that I have had.
I returned to the Philippines for the second time and stayed May 3 – June 25. It was a tremendous blessing to be able to return and see familiar people and places, especially those who remembered me from the previous summer. I led a team of 8 IWU students for 3 weeks. During that time we did 8 VBS’s on 3 different islands – in a dump, at a Bible College, local churches, isolated mountain church, in remote villages with different tribes, and a Compassion site. With anywhere from 30 to 80 kids we told Bible stories, played games, colored pictures, sang songs, fed them bread and juice, laughed and had a great time. At the dump (right), we also painted the floor and pews in the church and passed out clothes to families. Most importantly, we bonded with the children and their families, sharing the love of God, and were impacted by their love. Aside from VBS we spent lots of time with the youth from the local churches. Many times we partnered together in ministry to do VBS. They taught us Tagalog, their language. We played lots of games, sang songs, shared our stories and testimonies, and bonded in fellowship. This was an invaluable part of our ministry.
The experience of leading a team was more difficult than I ever anticipated it to be. I had to force myself to take leadership in situations when it was not easy. However, I was extremely blessed with an amazing team. We united together as one to accomplish our purpose. We never had disagreements or quarreling. God really blessed and provided for us. Our team faced some health issues, but God provided healing. One team member broke out with a severe allergic reaction, after a few days without cessation he had to get a couple shots and take some steroids, it helped for a while but he continued to break out. We prayed over him and God healed him! Some of them have become my best friends. I am hoping that next year when I return (yay!) some of them will be able to come with me again. My team taught me the value of friendship and accountability, the importance of taking advantage of opportunities we are given, and the rewards of sharing our triumphs and struggles. Together we learned our strengths & weaknesses.
After my team left my internship in Urban Ministries began. My teammate, Megan, stayed for an additional week to do her Intercultural Nursing internship. This was such a blessing. We moved into my small room off the church where I stayed for my internship. Megan helped me adjust to what it would be like once I was on my own. That week I spent a lot of time bonding with my host, the pastor, Joel Pascua, along with his family. I also grew very close to Pastora MJ (left), who is doing her placement at the church before graduating from Bible College. She was a gift straight from God – He used her to teach, encourage, and stretch me. We spent hours together talking about life and what God has in store for us, dreaming about the future, and deciding what we need to do to be prepared for His service. I consider these irreplaceable moments because they gave me a chance to refocus on the purpose my ministry and internship, especially when I was stressed or distracted.
The majority of activities during my urban ministries internship revolved around youth activities. I was the speaker for two different youth services. I also shared my testimony in churches twice. On a daily basis I spent my time in casual, relational fellowship with the youth. We spent hours playing games and getting to know one another. They taught me about their culture while I taught them about mine. On weekends we went swimming, to the malls to hang out, and the market to go shopping. I also went with them on their weekly ministries to the campus outreaches (youth group for college students), Sunday school extensions (VBS), Bible studies, and prayer meetings. I grew to love these youth; we become close friends and I miss them so much! I am so thankful for facebook and skype so we can stay in touch! They were a real encouragement. Before this trip I did not place high value on relational ministry, I would rather chose to be doing something physical. However, God really used these youth to open my eyes to the importance of relational ministry. Now I can’t imagine doing ministry without involving and making relationships!
I also worked with a couple of organizations, where I was exposed to immense poverty in urban settings. We went with “Servants” into a squatter’s village where people move illegally into cramped, horrible living conditions. “Servants” is an international network of Christian communities living and working within the slums of Asia and the West, participating with the poor to bring hope and justice through Jesus Christ. At first it was pretty scary walking around, but so many people we met were friendly. A couple days later, Joel and I decided to collect clothes to provide for families whose homes the government had just burned down to intimidate the people and scare them off the land. Afterwards we spent a few days at Onesimo, a shelter for street kids who come from abusive homes, are abandoned, neglected, orphans, children of addicts, or even addicts themselves. They provide shelter, clothes, food, tutoring, and the opportunity to have an actual childhood. We took a family of 3 boys to Onesimo to live because their father is an alcoholic and cannot provide for them. I was extremely humbled – it was heartbreaking and encouraging at the same time. The youth and I painted murals in their classrooms.
Both of these are the types of programs I can see myself involved in later in life. My passion was rekindled as God reminded me of the calling He has on my life. I am so blessed to have grown up in such a loving, Christian environment. But, there are many children who do not have this privilege. I’m convinced those are the settings God is preparing for me to minister. At the same time I am comfortable and uncomfortable there. I want to help eradicate the social injustices, show love to children who would not see it otherwise, and bring the Message of Hope to seemingly hopeless environments. God has a plan for them, just like He does for you and me. I want to be part of it.
So, until I have the privilege and blessing of returning to the Philippines again next year, I will recount my memories and the lessons God taught me. I know that by doing this I will continue to grow into the woman God created me to be. Now I am working my way through reading the Bible in one year – it is as if I am reading some stories for the first time, very exciting! Faithfully I remain committed to His call for me and open myself up to whatever He asks of me or wherever He takes me. I ask that you would continue to keep me in your prayers – that God would continue to reveal His plan for my life and give me wisdom and guidance, and that I would continue to fall deeper in love with Him and stay focused on our relationship. I am a new person – I know the life changes and lessons from my time in the Philippines will last and continue to deepen.
In Christ Alone,
Jessie Reed

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Conflict vs Combat

"Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional." - Max Lucado

While reading my social work Practice III textbook on generalist practice there was an interesting section on conflict. I used to think all conflict was bad... though I didn't always try to avoid it as well as I should have, haha. I've faced conflict from sisters, parents, family, classmates, roommates, teachers, coaches, teammates, friends, co-workers, and strangers. It's not normally fun. People get mad and emotions flare; arguments and disagreements can result in hurt feelings. But, the more "mature" I've become, I've realized that conflict can be beneficial, especially when used constructively by reflecting on the situation. My text book listed 9 pros and some cons. Some of the pros are humorous, though I can't say I necessarily disagree with any of them. I don't suggest seeking conflict just for these benefits, but when it happens we should make the most of the situation.

1. Conflict can help us explore a situation more thoroughly (forced to evaluate issues & problems)
2. Conflict can cause us to make improvements in our behavior and communication.
3. Conflict can generate new energy to solve a problem. (motivation to change it)
4. Conflict can make daily routines more exciting. (creative thinking and stimulating ideas)
5. Conflict can improve the quality of problem resolution and decision making.
6. Conflict can release emotional "steam." (pent-up feelings just simmer and build)
7. Conflict can enhance our own self-awareness (what issues bother us most?)
8. Conflict can be fun when it is not taken too seriously. (discussion and debate)
9. Conflict can actually facilitate the development and depth of relationships (getting to know them on a deeper level, especially influential when there is positive conflict resolution)

BUT
1. Conflict takes energy, which is a limited resource. (Not to mention time, enthusiasm, effort and initiative)
2. Conflict may result in winners and losers (Adequate compromise isn't always possible)
3. Conflict may result in decreased collaboration and teamwork (lack of cooperation and communication)

A big factor in conflict resolution is the demeanor of those involved in the conflict.

1. The turtle - people who withdraw into their shells to avoid conflict
2. The shark - people who move into conflict boldly, pushing their opponents aside
3. The teddybear - people who value the relationship with the opponent much more than the achievement of his own goals
4. The fox - people who use confrontation to reach some agreement acceptable to both them and their opponent (compromise)

So would you consider yourself nonassertive, assertive, aggressive or passive-aggressive? It's something interesting to think about...

Sunday, August 22, 2010

In Christ Alone

I went to Church this Sunday morning for the first time in 4 weeks. It was awesome, awesome. While God's been physically restoring me the past 4 weeks, He's also been restoring my spirit. I truly felt blessed to worship together in communion with my Church family. We sang my absolute favorite song, In Christ Alone. There's a line that says "Jesus commands my destiny". Wow. It was just one of those things... the whole song isn't about that, but because that's what I needed to hear, that's what stood out to me. God works in amazing ways like that all the time. I've been thinking so much about my future lately - the who, what, where, when, how kinds of things. My heart and mind have been wrestling in disagreement on some things and I can't decipher between the two which is right, which to follow. Anyways, I just have a lot more peace pushing those things aside. From life's first cry to final breath - Jesus commands my destiny. He's in control. He's got a plan. And because He loves me, it's the best plan possible. I praise Him and thank Him for that everyday.


Avalon with scenes from "Passion of the Christ"

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Bucket List

I made a bucket list, inspired by the hilarious movie, The Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholoson. I love the movie but do wish a few scenes were taken out...
Anyways, I made this list back in August 2008 and have already accomplished a lot from my list. Jewel updated hers so I thought I should do the same. Along with accomplishing some I've added some more - a girl can keep dreaming right? :) These aren't in any particular order.

Swim with dolphins/ killer whale at Sea World
Ride a loud harley all by myself
My dad raced motorcycles for years before my parents met
He raced till he was in a coma for a month -
with brain damage and broken bones
The least I can do to honor this is ride a cycle myself ;)

Sky dive or bungee jump
Indiana Beach - Summer 2009
Jessa, Freya & I did the bungee drop
This isn't us... but this is what we looked like ;)
Yes, I screamed

Return to a country I've gone to on a mission trip- see the same people/places
Visayan Wesleyan Bible College - Cebu
My first trip to the Philippines
The little guy in the corner is Brian, who I saw again ;)
Visayan Wesleyan Bible College - Cebu
My lil guy, Fransis - whom I remember from last year
My second trip to the Philippines

Stay away from home for a full summer
Have insanely adorable kids, namely Jackson David
Read straight through Bible in one year
In process :)

Drive a Dodge Viper and a Dodge Charger
Testing driving a Charger, just for fun
Fall 2009
I still need to drive a Viper ;)

Ride a bull
Make a difference in someone's life
Laugh till I cry
Witness a miracle
Go to Africa
My momma's family in Africa, 1957
They were in Seirra Leone as missionaries for years
...Till my grandma got deathly sick

Adopt a child with special needs
Get my dad a "ticket into Heaven"
Spoil my nieces as they grow up
Holding Mallory and letting Leah sneak in a kiss

Take part in a revival
Skinny dip after dark
Write a book and get it published
Be on TV
Go to a colts game at Lucas Oil Stadium
Colts game with Phil Meek
Fall 2009
They won!

Preach a sermon
Speaking at Floodway Wesleyan
Actually didn't do so well....
But improved at the next church :)

Help with natural disaster relief
Give a stranger a better life
Find the cure for poverty
Drive a cop car
My brother-in-law Jeff, who let me drive his cop car
We didn't get pics, because he could've gotten in trouble ;)

See the "7 Wonders of the World"
Help a family off the streets
Start a program for underprivileged, disadvantaged children, youth, and/or famlies
Get my Master's in Social Work
Own a cottage at Fairmount Campgrounds
Go to Calcutta, India and work in Mother Teresa's stomping grounds
Marry the man of my dreams

Stay tuned ;)

Leah and Aunt Jessie

Look how this girl has grown!

July 2008, just a couple days before she was born
Trying to make my belly like Joni's ;)


July 5, 2008 - meeting her for the first time at the hospital


July 2008, just 6 days old.


August 2008, seeing her after working in Southern Indiana for flood relief


September 2008, on my 20th birthday


October 2008, dressed as a pea-pod for Halloween


December 2008, stealing all the attention on her first Christmas


June 2009, weekend with her after my first Philippines trip


July 2009, her first birthday


August 2009, mini family vacation at Brown County


September 2009, the time she was crawling well :)


November 2009, babysitting at my house
I'll pretty much let this girl play with whatever she wants


Christmas Eve 2009, she loved the bow on her head


Christmas 2009


March 2010, Gramp's birthday


Easter 2010, anxiously awaiting the arrival of her little sister


June 2010, immediately in the airport flying in from the Philippines


July 2010, celebrating her 2nd birthday


July 2010, swimming at a family reunion



xoxo Leah Marie, Aunt Jessie loves you!