While reading my social work Practice III textbook on generalist practice there was an interesting section on conflict. I used to think all conflict was bad... though I didn't always try to avoid it as well as I should have, haha. I've faced conflict from sisters, parents, family, classmates, roommates, teachers, coaches, teammates, friends, co-workers, and strangers. It's not normally fun. People get mad and emotions flare; arguments and disagreements can result in hurt feelings. But, the more "mature" I've become, I've realized that conflict can be beneficial, especially when used constructively by reflecting on the situation. My text book listed 9 pros and some cons. Some of the pros are humorous, though I can't say I necessarily disagree with any of them. I don't suggest seeking conflict just for these benefits, but when it happens we should make the most of the situation.
1. Conflict can help us explore a situation more thoroughly (forced to evaluate issues & problems)
2. Conflict can cause us to make improvements in our behavior and communication.
3. Conflict can generate new energy to solve a problem. (motivation to change it)
4. Conflict can make daily routines more exciting. (creative thinking and stimulating ideas)
5. Conflict can improve the quality of problem resolution and decision making.
6. Conflict can release emotional "steam." (pent-up feelings just simmer and build)
7. Conflict can enhance our own self-awareness (what issues bother us most?)
8. Conflict can be fun when it is not taken too seriously. (discussion and debate)
9. Conflict can actually facilitate the development and depth of relationships (getting to know them on a deeper level, especially influential when there is positive conflict resolution)
BUT
1. Conflict takes energy, which is a limited resource. (Not to mention time, enthusiasm, effort and initiative)
2. Conflict may result in winners and losers (Adequate compromise isn't always possible)
3. Conflict may result in decreased collaboration and teamwork (lack of cooperation and communication)
A big factor in conflict resolution is the demeanor of those involved in the conflict.
1. The turtle - people who withdraw into their shells to avoid conflict
2. The shark - people who move into conflict boldly, pushing their opponents aside
3. The teddybear - people who value the relationship with the opponent much more than the achievement of his own goals
4. The fox - people who use confrontation to reach some agreement acceptable to both them and their opponent (compromise)
So would you consider yourself nonassertive, assertive, aggressive or passive-aggressive? It's something interesting to think about...
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