In Christ Alone

I went to Church this Sunday morning for the first time in 4 weeks. It was awesome, awesome. While God's been physically restoring me the past 4 weeks, He's also been restoring my spirit. I truly felt blessed to worship together in communion with my Church family. We sang my absolute favorite song, In Christ Alone. There's a line that says "Jesus commands my destiny". Wow. It was just one of those things... the whole song isn't about that, but because that's what I needed to hear, that's what stood out to me. God works in amazing ways like that all the time. I've been thinking so much about my future lately - the who, what, where, when, how kinds of things. My heart and mind have been wrestling in disagreement on some things and I can't decipher between the two which is right, which to follow. Anyways, I just have a lot more peace pushing those things aside. From life's first cry to final breath - Jesus commands my destiny. He's in control. He's got a plan. And because He loves me, it's the best plan possible. I praise Him and thank Him for that everyday.


Avalon with scenes from "Passion of the Christ"

Bucket List

I made a bucket list, inspired by the hilarious movie, The Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholoson. I love the movie but do wish a few scenes were taken out...
Anyways, I made this list back in August 2008 and have already accomplished a lot from my list. Jewel updated hers so I thought I should do the same. Along with accomplishing some I've added some more - a girl can keep dreaming right? :) These aren't in any particular order.

Swim with dolphins/ killer whale at Sea World
Ride a loud harley all by myself
My dad raced motorcycles for years before my parents met He raced till he was in a coma for a month -with brain damage and broken bones The least I can do to honor this is ride a cycle myself ;)
Sky dive or bungee jump
Indiana Beach - Summer 2009Jessa, Freya & I did the bungee dropThis isn't us... but this is what we looked like ;) Yes, I screamed
Return to a country I've gone to on a mission trip- see the same people/places
Visayan Wesleyan Bible College - Cebu My first trip to the Philippines
The little guy in the corner is Brian, who I saw again ;) Visayan Wesleyan Bible College - Cebu

My lil guy, Fransis - whom I remember from last year

My second trip to the Philippines

Stay away from home for a full summer
Have insanely adorable kids, namely Jackson David

Read straight through Bible in one year

In process :)

Drive a Dodge Viper and a Dodge Charger

Testing driving a Charger, just for fun Fall 2009 I still need to drive a Viper ;)

Ride a bull

Make a difference in someone's life

Laugh till I cry

Witness a miracle

Go to Africa

My momma's family in Africa, 1957 They were in Seirra Leone as missionaries for years ...Till my grandma got deathly sick

Adopt a child with special needs

Get my dad a "ticket into Heaven"

Spoil my nieces as they grow up

Holding Mallory and letting Leah sneak in a kiss

Take part in a revival

Skinny dip after dark

Write a book and get it published

Be on TV

Go to a colts game at Lucas Oil Stadium

Colts game with Phil MeekFall 2009 They won!

Preach a sermon

Speaking at Floodway Wesleyan

Actually didn't do so well....

But improved at the next church :)

Help with natural disaster relief

Give a stranger a better life

Find the cure for poverty

Drive a cop car

My brother-in-law Jeff, who let me drive his cop car We didn't get pics, because he could've gotten in trouble ;)

See the "7 Wonders of the World"

Help a family off the streets

Start a program for underprivileged, disadvantaged children, youth, and/or famlies

Get my Master's in Social Work

Own a cottage at Fairmount Campgrounds

Go to Calcutta, India and work in Mother Teresa's stomping grounds

Marry the man of my dreams

Stay tuned ;)

Leah and Aunt Jessie

Look how this girl has grown!

July 2008, just a couple days before she was bornTrying to make my belly like Joni's ;)

July 5, 2008 - meeting her for the first time at the hospital

July 2008, just 6 days old.

August 2008, seeing her after working in Southern Indiana for flood relief

September 2008, on my 20th birthday

October 2008, dressed as a pea-pod for Halloween

December 2008, stealing all the attention on her first Christmas

June 2009, weekend with her after my first Philippines trip

July 2009, her first birthday

August 2009, mini family vacation at Brown County

September 2009, the time she was crawling well :)

November 2009, babysitting at my house I'll pretty much let this girl play with whatever she wants

Christmas Eve 2009, she loved the bow on her head

Christmas 2009

March 2010, Gramp's birthday

Easter 2010, anxiously awaiting the arrival of her little sister

June 2010, immediately in the airport flying in from the Philippines

July 2010, celebrating her 2nd birthday

July 2010, swimming at a family reunion


xoxo Leah Marie, Aunt Jessie loves you!

Irresistible Revolution 2

Economics of Rebirth

As a Christian, my purse should be spent differently than before I was a Christian. Money is one of the most common topics in the New Testament, therefore it's pretty important.

Shane Claiborne said, "I'm not convinced that Jesus is going to say, 'When I was hungry, you gave a check to the United Way and they fed me,' or, 'When I was naked, you donated clothes to the Salvation Army and they clothed me.' Jesus is not seeking distant acts of charity. He seeks concrete acts of love: 'you fed me... you visited me in prison... you welcomed me into your home... you clothed me.'" Have I consistently done this or do I too easily rely on my gifts of money to empower others to do it? When I let others do it... I am kept in a separate world from the poor. Inequality is cautiously controlled but not eradicated.

"Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?'" - Proverbs 30:8, 9.

When I get dressed I wear a different outfit than the day before. When my clothes are dirty I put them in the washing machine. When I go outside I pick from lots of shoes. When I'm thirsty I get a clean class of cold water. When I'm hungry I open the fridge or cabinets and eat whatever I want. When I don't like food, I throw it away. When I'm cold I turn up the heat; when I'm hot I turn up the air conditioning. When I'm dirty I shower. When I'm bored I turn on my entertainment system. When I'm tired I lay down in my own bed. When I want to go somewhere I have a car I can drive, and when it's out of gas I refill it. I went to an expensive, private, Christian school; now I go to an expensive, private, Christian university. When I'm sick I go to the doctor. When I want something, I buy it. When I sleep I'm not fearful of my safety. Even worse - when I do all these things I don't think twice.

Again, Claiborne says, "True generosity is measured not by how much we give away but by how much we have left, especially when we look at the needs of our neighbors." The early Christians taught that charity is merely the rich returning to the poor what they stole.

Isaiah 58:6, 7 says, "Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" When I fast... is that how I do it?

When the church becomes a place of brokerage rather than an organic community, she creases to be alive.... she ceases to be something we are - the living bride of Christ. The church becomes a distribution center - a place where the poor come to get stuff and the rich come to dump it off. . . . Is the organization meeting the needs or is the organism? Jesus did not organize a "program" but rather personified the reign of God through love. Needs are met by His infection of love through us. BUT 1 Cor 13:3 says, "If i give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the glames, but have not love, I gain nothing.". . . you figure it out!

"'Truly I tell you,' Jesus replied, 'no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields - along with persecutions - and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first" - Mark 10:29-31. Rather than accumulating stuff for ourself, followers of Jesus abandon everything, trusting in God alone for providence.

Though I've lived more simply this summer than ever before...God is speaking to me... calling me... and I'll be honest... I'm scared of what it means.

I'm Blessed

While listening to "All Because of Jesus" by Steve Fee....

I'm blessed by the sweetest "Get Well" card from Frank & Sharon Martin

I'm blessed by an amazing B.T.S. Cake from Janna Gearhart

I'm blessed by a tasty pot roast dinner from Pamela Westfall

I'm blessed by the best ham & fresh green beans from Aunt Holly

I'm blessed by the especially tasty Jamocha shake from Aunt Trudy

I'm blessed by the considerate ice-cream and milkshakes Jewel and Dad bring me

I'm blessed by the heavenly sugar-cream pie from Dave & Brenda Abston

I'm blessed by the scrumptious & famous, homemade chicken pot pie & raspberry dessert from Rosalyn Turcott

I'm blessed by awesome extended family willing to sit with grandma so I can have time with my momma

I'm blessed by the willingness of Rob Dawson to see me and write prescriptions for me while he's on vacation at camp

I'm blessed by all the thoughtful "get well" wishes and "we miss you" texts and Facebook posts from my church family

I'm blessed by the most amazing boyfriend who sends me the sweetest messages while he's away

I'm blessed by the best twin-sister who does everything I ask and more

I'm blessed by the most caring momma who takes care of me even after her own surgery

I'm blessed by the cutest 3-month picture of my adorable niece Mallory

I'm blessed by the best older sister who makes me laugh and sends me thoughtful texts when I'm not feeling well

I'm blessed by the sweetest grandma who thinks of me even when she's lying in a hospital bed

I'm blessed by my dad's intuitiveness to leave the house so I can have peace & quiet

I'm blessed by the nonstop worship music filling my room by The Message on Sirius satelite radio

I'm blessed by my awesome King who meets me where I am, encourages my heart, heals my body, and sends all these blessings my way

"But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:4-10

Song of Songs

How can you help but not fall in love all over again when you read this book? In the past few days I have read it multiple times in multiple versions. It is unabashedly erotic but it's not a one night stand, it's a permanent relationship. The book follows this love through all the season. The physical descriptions of one another are fascinating - full of pure, beautiful love. While Solomon wrote it for one of his wives, this song is also an allegory for God and His people - us as individuals. I resonate with the sentiments of the beloved in chapter 5. My lover is mine and I am his. Never wanting to part... I am captivated by the dialogue between the lover and his beloved. I am in love with my Maker and what and who He has for me. I love love.

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest

is my love among the young men.

I delight to sit in his shade,

and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

He has taken me to the banquet hall,

and his banner over me is love.

Strengthen me with raisins,

refresh me with apples,

for I am faint with love.

Don't excite love, don't stir it up

until the time is ripe - and you're ready.

It's more than physical

It's not strep. You'd think I'd be excited about that right? Well, i'm not. I wish it was just strep but its not. I went to the doctor and waited for 2 hours. He diagnosed me with mono then called a nurse in to see it because it was so bad, hadn't seen a case that bad in awhile. I'd already finished 1 antibiotic but he gave me a prescription for another plus a steroid. I hate taking meds, especially ones that taste so gross. But, I know its what's best for me so i'll do it. Now all I do is lay on the couch like a doll, drink gatorade, eat ice-cream and jello, and sleep. In the past 24 hours I've probably slept 18. Doc said i'll be down for 2 weeks and it'll take 2-3 months to get back to my normal energy level. I'm sure I can handle school in September but I may have to cut out a class, which wouldn't be the end of the world I guess :/ The timing is good in the sense that I have some time to recover before school starts. But...

It's only been a week and... I'm lonely. I'm tired of isolation. I'm tired of getting tired just walking to the bathroom. I'm tired of only eating soft foods. I'm tired of feeling helpless. I'm tired of only talking to myself. I'm tired of side effects from the medicine. I miss my family and my friends. I want to visit grandma in the hospital but I can't. I want to hold my nieces but I can't. I want to go to church tomorrow but I can't. I want to be myself again, but I'm not. I'm not just physically worn down... i'm getting emotionally and spiritually worn down too.

Satan is really trying to attack my family. We started off with such a great summer. Then grandma got sick and has been in the hospital, fighting a seemingly never-ending battle. Mom moved to Indy to Jeff & Joni's to be closer to grandma. Then I get sick with something that will put me down for at least the rest of the summer. Now neither dad or mom are working so there's no flowing income. In lieu of all these events, the family vacation we wanted and needed was cancelled.
April, 2010

But, you know what?

God is still good! God will come out victorious! God is bigger than all these troubles! These troubles are only temporary compared to forever glory in Him. I can count on His promises to carry me through - He is ever faithful! His joy comes with the morning (Ps 30)! Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength (Is. 40)! The Lord will not forsake his faithful ones (Ps 37). He is an ever-present help in times of trouble (Ps 46). He preserves our life (Ps 138). He is near to all who call to Him (Ps 145). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139). He has a plan for my life (Jer 29) and He watches over my life (Ps 121).

So, like Joshua I will declare "But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord!"

10 Deadliest Sharks

I love love love the ocean! I wish that I could live there and go snorkeling everyday. The bright colors and smooth movements of the tropical fish have always fascinated me. There is so much life and diversity in the ocean - everything from soft-shelled sea turtles, shrimp, seahorses, dolphins, urchins, squid, jellyfish, starfish, sponges and plankton, clownfish, otters, to even seagulls. When I was little, when I grew up I wanted to be a killer whale trainer and swim with Shamu at Sea World (and still do!) If I could be any animal it would definitely be a killerwhale! I wish that Discovery had Whale Week, but they don't so Shark Week will have to do :) I love their programs... except when they talk about evolution, which is a lie!

Its a myth that you're safe in shallow water. 85% of shark attacks happen close to shore, with 2/3 of them in less than 5 feet of water. You're safest from a shark when its in tonic immobility; an upside-down shark acts like it has been hypnotized and becomes much calmer than normal.

10 Deadliest Sharks

#10 - Lemon Shark. They are sprinters - can swim 0 to 20mph in 2 seconds. They look a little different because they have 2 large dorsal fins instead of just one. They're also unique because they have eyelids - can hunt in daytime and at night.

#9 - Blue Shark. They are the tenacious shark - very stubborn and will travel far for food. The same blue shark was tagged then found over 3,000 miles away. Their body is more flexible than other sharks, so they don't get as tired when traveling long distances.

#8 - Hammer Head. They can turn on a dime. They feast in shallow, tropical bay water. Their unique head shape makes it stand out. Underneath their "T" shaped head they have lots of jelly-filled sensors to read electro-impulses to scan for fish/food movement.

#7 - Sand Tiger. They are unpredictable and known for being baby cannibals. They are the scariest looking - especially their slanted, needle like rows of teeth. When they are in the womb they eat the eggs of their brothers and sisters.

#6 - Grey Reef Shark. They are aggressive competitors. They feed in groups and it turns into a bloody frenzy. They're very territorial.

#5 - Mako. looks like a living torpedo. It's not large but it's built for speed - the world's fast shark at 30 mph/hour on average. They move faster because their body temp is 7-10 degrees warmer than the water. They are one of the only sharks that will eat other sharks.

#4 - Oceanic White-Tip. One of the most aggressive and efficient eaters. Have excellent sense of smell. Surprise, surprise their dorsal fin has a white tip.

# 3 - Tiger shark. They'll eat basically anything and everything. Two of their main foods are sea turtles and seagulls. The top lobe of their tail is also larger than the bottom. They have beautiful, spot-like markings - similar to a tiger.

#2 - The Great White. Jaws :) They're very picky eaters, usually prefer sea lions and seals. They feed in murky waters so many times they misinterpret a surfer on a surfboard as a seal. Because they're big and not very maneuverable they use the element of surprise - come from below. They crush & bite the victim then wait for them to bleed to death before eating them. They're in danger of extinction because they breed slowly.

#1 - Bull Shark. It will strike at anything it can with or without provocation. They're found everywhere, the only shark that can live in fresh water. They hang in shallow, murky water. They are even found in the Mississippi River, the Ganges and 2000 miles up the Amazon.

Did you know sharks deliver babies in live birth and in eggs. Mothers carry babies for 9 months. Their litters can be anywhere from 4-17 babies. After their born most mothers have nothing to do with raising their babies, not even the first feed. The babies are called pups.

Strep Throat & Shark Week

Friday of camp I started to not feel so well. My throat was sore and I didn't have much energy. I went to bed around 9:45 and woke up on Saturday with a swollen face and my throat hurt more. My face was so swollen I was too embarrassed to leave the room - so I stayed in bed till Jewel woke me for lunch. After lunch I looked at my throat and saw big puffy red tonsils with white patches on them and the back of my throat. (I thought about putting a pic on here but that'd be too gross.) I went back to bed for a few hours then woke up and walked around camp till I found Rob Dawson (my mom's boss) who could look at me and write me a prescription. He diagnosed me with strep throat and sent me home. I was bummed to leave camp but felt bad enough that it was okay. I was also contagious and didn't want to make anyone else sick. I'm sure I got it from a kid in the nursery - so I named my white patches after the kids in the nursery with runny noses... blaming them, haha (like Megan named her kidney stones after the guys in the Philippines that made us try strange foods).

I've pretty much been in bed or relaxing ever since. My throat was not getting any better - actually it was getting progressively worse. Today (Monday) my mom sent me to the ER with my dad because I should have felt fine after 3 days of antibiotics, but it was my worst day. We actually got in pretty quickly (still waited awhile in the exam room) but the doc said I was having a bad swelling reaction and needed stronger meds because my throat may swell in - my tonsils were already almost touching. So he gave me meds to reverse the swelling and a prescription for lortab (man i'm woosy). I got home around 10:30 and slept till 3:30, now I'm trying to keep myself awake or i'll never sleep tonight. I was supposed to take the youth group to Cedar Point tomorrow with Pastor Tony, but lortab and rollercoasters (plus 90 degree weather) isn't a good combo so Jewel is taking my place :(

I can only read or work on my urban ministries internship report (due in just a few days, yikes) for so long so I've been watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Yay, I love shark week. Here's some interesting tidbits of info for ya:

A quarter of a shark's weight is in its liver

The only reason they have eyelids is to protect their eyes during feeding -thats also the only time they close their eyes

A shark's eye is the size of a small human fist

Sharks are "offended" by the smell of other dead sharks - so if you smell like a dead shark they won't attack you ;)

Sharks have more testosterone than men - than any other creature on earth

I hope to be feeling well enough to visit Grandma again this week. I can't go while I'm still contagious so I haven't seen her since last Wednesday. She is getting much better which is a huge PRAISE and MIRACLE. The doctors didn't think she'd walk away from this.... well she may not walk away but will be pushed in a wheel chair, haha. Anyways, the doctors are talking about starting rehab & physical therapy soon so we're hoping she can be moved back down to Marion so she's closer to us :) Please pray that she gets accepted into Marion General Hospital's rehab program otherwise she'll have to be in a nursing home - because she needs more care than we can provide at home. What an awesome God we serve!!!