A Week From Hell

So, basically this week has been that - a week from hell. Nothing has gone right. Not much has been enjoyable. There have been many disappointments and setbacks, frustrations, and failures. WAY more lows than highs. Family life isn't so great right now. The weather is crap. My internship this week was bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Some of the kids I work with lives really suck, and there's absolutely nothing they can do about it. I've realized how evil people can be. I've realized how dark souls can be are without Christ. Definitely a challenge to see the positives, though I'm forcing myself to think ahrd and find them.


I've also realized I'm terrible at taking care of myself. The whole hot topic social work words of "self care" have been the lowest priority on my list. I have not been able to process my terrible week, I just vent, which either makes me more mad or turns people of. I'm emotional, short on sleep, eating terribly, physically weak, spiritually exhausted, and loosing sight of my vision. I hurt someone very very very dear to me, and I'm scared of the consequences. *I do not want to lose you. I cannot lose you!*


One of the assignments for my "Integration of Christian Theology and Social Work" class is to read through a spiritual disciplines handbook and practice a different discipline each week. This week's theme is "Open Self To God" and one of the categories in it is Rest. Like whoa I need that. The challenge is to discipline myself by taking opportunities to Rest my Body and opportunities to Rest my Soul. The author said "we're human beings not human doings", which was like a 2x4 slap in my face. Maybe once I learn how to just be I'll be a more enjoyable person (enjoying life and opening up to let other's enjoy me). Eek, this is going to be a hard hard hard lesson to learn.