Unemployment

One of my favorite old ladies at church called me over to her yesterday and shared this quote with me - "God's got really long sleeves. You never know what's up them!" She knew I'm really discouraged about not having a job and wanted to encourage me. Sometimes old people are just the greatest, unless you're driving or walking behind them ;) This particular lady is real spunky!

I'm getting really tired of not having a job. I had one, but then God closed the door. I "have reasons" to be bitter about it, but bitterness isn't worth the energy it sucks up. So, I've applied to basically every social service place in my surrounding area. I'm not being picky, I just prefer to not relocate. Anyways, on one of my breaks from researching jobs, writing resumes, and filling out applications i met with a dear friend for coffee. We had such a great time and both left so encouraged. I was sharing one of my stories for her, but God probably used it even more to speak to me in my present situation.

My sophomore year of college I signed up to lead a mission trip with World Impact (school organization). I was all set and ready to go to Haiti, but God closed the door. So, I made other arrangements and started preparing to go to Honduras. But God closed that door too. I was so frustrated and discouraged. I had no clue what God was doing. It wasn't what I wanted. But, then God opened a door to the Philippines. I had already been there, but this time God wanted me to lead my own team there. I obeyed and went. If I wouldn't have gone... yikes. I wouldn't have met Aldean. I wouldn't have as many great friends there as I have. I would not have learned the lessons I've learned there or made the spiritual and personal growth. I wouldn't know the love of the Pablo family. I wouldn't have kids calling me Ate. I wouldn't have tasted the wonder of lumpia sariwa, tamarind, or taho. And, I wouldn't have gone back, and back, and back again.

So, how's that apply to my life now? Well, God has closed one door already. I don't know how many more jobs I won't hear back about, letters/emails saying the position has been filled, or interviews I'll go to without getting offered a job. But, God is still faithful and He has a plan. This is stretching me and testing my faith and reliance on Him, but I hope it will prove me to be faithful and obedient. I must trust He will provide (because He will!) and pray for His direction, wisdom, and guidance. There's a lesson to learn in all of this and hopefully a wonderful job along the way.

Lord, show me your will and draw me to my knees.

Lessons from Rochester

I spent the last year of my life in Rochester, New York. I came here for grad school, but learned so much more than that. I came expecting to really just go with the flow and focus strictly on academics. But, it has been so much more than that.

I go to a small group Bible study on Sunday nights in a family's home. This has been a wonderful experience. Our last Sunday together, they asked me to share about all the things I've learned while I've been here.

* God has taught me the importance of community. I need to prioritize people - it's not about things or grades. The people around me have been such a blessing, a support system and true source of encouragement. I need to invest in others and allow them to invest in me.

* I learned the importance of my friends and family. At times, it was so very hard to be away from my loved ones at home and in the Philippines. I cherished the quality time I have had each time I had a chance to go home. I am more than excited to go home, but now with renewed interest in developing those relationships even further and utilizing them for what they really can be.

* This was my first time to be "on my own." I learned more about cooking and budgeting. I learned about keeping up a car and house. 

* While I was here, I experienced some of the driest spiritual times of my life. It is so difficult to get back up once you've been down, but God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him. He was available when I sought Him. God helped me develop more intimate personal devotion time. He taught me the importance of getting fed throughout the week and not only relying on nourishment and rejuvenation at church. I cannot let my spirituality be circumstantial. I also learned it is my responsibility to be proactive to avoid temptation. 

* Since January, James 1:19 has been key. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." I don't like to admit it, but I have a temper. I never wanted to be "that person" who was known to have a short fuse, but most people who know me well, know it anyways. So, I finally admitted this to myself and decided to work on it. God worked in me in this area and helped me find success (though this is still an area to work on). I believe my reactions are now more gentle and thoughtful. I give God all glory and praise for this, because this is definitely not something I could do alone!

* I have learned how to be a witness in small ways. I can't directly share or witness at my internship, because I am in a public school. I have learned how I can be a light through my actions and lifestyle. I've also faced this in my house, where I sit back when stuff happens instead of being a positive light. If I can't even shine in little ways, when and where it is easy, how can I expect God to put me in "big situations" and trust me to make a difference. 

* I practiced the spiritual disciplines as a requirement for my social work and theology class. Through this, I grew so so so much. God made "teachability" a key word for my life this semester. I reflected on my life and the things I want to change about myself (personality, character, habits, etc). Self-awareness is key to growth. I opened myself to learning to become a better person, more Christlike.

* God taught me He is ultimately in control. I can't even control the things I think I can control. 

* God has amazed me while I've been here. First, He got me to Rochester. This school was not even on my radar of a possibility, I hadn't even heard of it. I never wanted to go so far away for school. But being here has been the best thing. God got me a wonderful internship, way better than I could have expected or dreamed - seriously so perfect for me! God provided me housing and great housemates that I got along with well (we had fun together and were good support). He kept me safe and healthy. He sent a mild winter. He provided the way for me to go to the Philippines for Christmas break when Aldean couldn't come here. He led me to a church with a wonderful small group Bible study to be apart of. He healed my grandma, so she's there to keep loving me when I get home. I think He has even provided me a house to rent when I get home, to prepare a home for my husband and myself. I also have a job after graduation. A job that practically fell into my lap. I'm super super excited about it!

* Finally, I learned to become more laid back.

These are just some of the lessons I learned while being here. None of these were easy processes. Worthwhile change is always hard. They're also not immediate, so I still have work to do. Hope I never forget this things.

Philippians 3:13, 14: "I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

The small town where I lived is Churchville. Maria and Margie were two of my housemates. This was taken one of our first weekends here.